"There are places I remember, all my life, though some have changed. Some for forever not for better, some have gone and some remain. All these places have their moments, with lovers and friends, I still can recall. Some dead and some are living, in my life, I've loved them all. But of all these friends and lovers, there is no one compares with you, and these memories lose their meaning, when I think of love as something new. Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before, I know I'll often stop and think about them, in my life, I've loved you more."
I danced to this song, by The Beatles, at our wedding. Some sentiments never change.
Who knew at 40 I would love my husband more than when I married him? Who could have suspected that after 4 decades, my personal hero would still be my gran?
Battle after battle with depression.... losing my focus, finding my way, gaining friends, saying goodbye more than hello... such a circus this life.
December 18th came and went. Kristen, steadfast and true, remembered. Candice asked how I was doing. Angie Jackson, bless her sweet soul, reached out. 13 months now without Gran. Does it get easier or did I get tougher?
I have fallen on my own sword so many times I am gouged through. Didn't I say I would live up to her memory?
In the end, I was left a better person for knowing her... better, but forever grieved.
1 comment:
Anniversary's can be so difficult. My grandma died over 20 years ago and we still always remember her on Dec. 15. The pain does subside but the wish and hope of spending just a few more minutes with your loved one never does. I loved seeing the gorgeous picture of your gran by your bed. She was a beautiful woman in so many ways and you are a better person because you loved her.
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